Beast Battles Read online

  For Molly – Tom

  For Roisin – Anjan

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Level 1

  Level 2

  Level 3

  Level 4

  Level 5

  Level 6

  Level 7

  Level 8

  Level 9

  Level 10

  Level 11

  Level 12

  Bonus Level

  Extract

  About the Author

  About the Illustrator

  Copyright

  “Max? You still alive?” I asked.

  “I think so,” he replied, sitting up and wiping drool off his glasses. “You?”

  “Of course I am, I just asked you,” I said.

  “Oh yeah, right,” he said. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight. Probably from being eaten.”

  It was a bit much to take in. Especially when the thing that had eaten you was the size of a large bunny. On the other hand, Max and I had seen and experienced quite a lot of strange things recently. Ever since a machine my mum built had accidentally transported us into a video game, we’d flown in epic space battles, been catapulted across a world made of blocks, and helped improve countless virtual lives along the way. When you think about it, is being eaten by a harmless-looking fluffy animal really that odd?

  Actually, yes. Yes, it is.

  “It’s surprisingly big in here, don’t you think?” asked Max.

  “You’re right,” I agreed, staring around the cavern that was the inside of the creature that had eaten us. The walls were soft and fleshy, and it was a bit like being inside a hollowed-out giant pink flan. “I guess we’re in another game then. One involving creatures with huge appetites.”

  “No kidding,” said Max, pointing at some of the other things the creature had snacked on. They included:

  “What’s that thing there?” asked Max, pointing at a small round hole in the middle of all the junk. It was black and swirling and kind of gooey, like a really thick soup.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “Could be a wall glitch. Best not go near it.”

  Max nodded slowly. “How are we going to get out of here then?”

  “YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, SO PIPE DOWN ALREADY,” a voice boomed.

  Max and I looked around. “Who said that?” I asked.

  “Who do you think?” replied the voice. It sounded female. “Me. The thing that ate you.”

  “You can hear us?” asked Max.

  “Of course I can hear you,” she said. “I’m right here.”

  “As you can hear us,” I said, “you’d better just go ahead and spit us out. Right now!”

  The creature made a snorting sound that caused her insides to jiggle, almost knocking us over. “Or what?” She laughed.

  “Or… Or…” I said, trying to think of something. “OK, I don’t know what. But you should let us go.”

  “I’m afraid I disagree,” she said.

  “Disagree?” I repeated, stroking my chin, an idea starting to form. “That’s it. Max, I’ve got it.”

  “You have?” he asked.

  “We’re basically her food, right?” I said. “And we’re in disagreement. Now, what normally happens when food disagrees with someone?”

  Max considered this for a moment. “They throw up. But Flo, that expression doesn’t literally mean the person is arguing with their lunch.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Obviously I know that. But the principle is the same. We’re going to make her throw up.”

  “You wouldn’t…” said the creature, though she didn’t sound convinced.

  “We’ll have to disagree on that too,” I said, as I started jumping around in her stomach. “Come on, Max.”

  Max joined me, flinging himself into the soft mushy walls as I repeatedly stomped on the floor. After half a minute or so of this there was a loud groaning noise.

  “Ooooooh, please … stop!” said the creature. “I think I’m going to…”

  There was a loud retch.

  Then another.

  And another.

  And then…

  We shot out into the bright daylight and landed in a crumpled heap on the grass, covered in drool. I ducked as the grandfather clock flew past us.

  “That’s better,” I said, getting to my feet and wiping off the slobber as best I could. I turned round, ready to give the creature a piece of my mind. But when I saw it, I stopped. She was in tears, her tiny yellow fluffy paws covering her eyes.

  “Er… Are you all right?” asked Max.

  “No,” she admitted.

  Max gave me a look that said, ‘Yeah, I know she just ate us and we have every right to be angry but she’s clearly going through something right now, so we should probably be the bigger people and see if we can help her.’ He packed a lot into that look.

  I sighed. “What’s your name?”

  “Hungrabun.” She sniffed.

  “I’m Flo and this is Max,” I said. “You want to tell us what’s wrong?”

  “What’s wrong?” repeated Hungrabun. “Oh, just my life’s dream being destroyed, that’s all.”

  “Your dream was to eat us?” asked Max, understandably confused.

  “What? No! My dream is to compete in the Battles but that’s never going to happen. You were comfort snacks, and I can’t even get that right. I’m such a failure.”

  I decided to skip past the part about us being comfort snacks. “The Battles? What are they?”

  She looked up at us in shock, her eyes red from rubbing and snot dangling from her tiny nose. “You new in town?” she asked.

  “Something like that,” Max said.

  “The Battles are a tournament where creatures team up and compete against each other,” said Hungrabun, her face brightening as she explained. “Sixteen teams of two, each creature bringing their own unique abilities to the fight until only one team is left standing. I’ve been watching the Battles ever since I hatched. It’s always been my dream to compete in them and now that I’m finally old enough it’s not going to happen.”

  “Why not?” asked Max.

  “Because I can’t find anyone who wants to team up with me, and they don’t let you enter as a single,” she said. “You get overexcited and accidentally eat one or two potential teammates and suddenly word gets out and no one wants to be your partner. I coughed both of them back up but no one ever mentions that part, do they?”

  I grabbed Max by the arm and pulled him to one side. “I’ve just figured out what game this is,” I whispered. “It’s Critter Clash.”

  A look of realization dawned on Max’s face. “Of course!”

  Critter Clash was one of those games that everyone knew about, even people like Max who weren’t into games. Playgrounds were always full of kids, or ‘creature coaches’, discussing tactics or recounting glorious victories.

  “I bet we have to help Hungrabun win the tournament to escape the game,” I said.

  Max nodded. “I think you’re probably right.”

  “Help me?” sniffed Hungrabun. “But you don’t look like creatures. You look more like … coaches. But no one’s seen a coach in years.”

  “We are!” I said. “And we’d like to become yours.”

  “What does she mean no one’s seen one in years?” asked Max.

  “It’s probably because Critter Clash is so popular they keep bringing out new versions,” I whispered. “I got mine a couple of years ago but no one plays it any more and Mum won’t let me get the new one because she says I’ve got enough games, which is ridiculous. How can anyone have enough games?”

  “So what makes you qualified, exactly?” interrupted Hungrabun.

  Max and I looked at each other. �
�Well, Max is really clever,” I said. “He can come up with game plans and strategies and tactics, that kind of thing. And I can show you some awesome fighting moves.”

  “Oh yeah?” said Hungrabun. “Like what?”

  “Like my Dropkick of Doom for starters,” I said before launching myself into the air, feet first. Unfortunately I quickly discovered that doing the move while PLAYING a video game was a lot easier than doing the move while IN a video game. I landed on my back with a massive, embarrassing thud.

  I looked up at Hungrabun, who didn’t seem hugely impressed.

  “Actually,” said Max. “Flo is really good at making you do things you don’t want to do.”

  I glared at him.

  “But that’s a good quality in a coach,” he clarified, before adding under his breath, “Not always in a best friend, mind you…”

  Hungrabun looked like she was giving the idea serious thought but then she just shrugged. “Even if I were to accept, weren’t you listening earlier?” she asked. “The Battles are tag team only. I can’t enter without a partner. And the tournament starts tonight!”

  “What if we could find you a partner before then?” I asked. “Could we be your coaches?”

  Hungrabun gave us a long look before holding out her little paw. “Deal.”

  There was no time to waste. The tournament kicked off in a few hours, so we were going to have to work fast to find Hungrabun a partner. Unfortunately, as we traipsed through the cartoon-like forest, with its overly bright and colourful plant life, it was proving difficult to find anyone at all.

  “These woods are normally full of creatures,” explained Hungrabun after what felt like hours of wandering around. “But they’ll have headed into town for the start of the tournament, to get the best seats. There’s no one left here.”

  “I think our ideal teammate would be someone who’s huge, with four arms and giant muscles,” I said.

  Hungrabun laughed. “Yeah, good luck finding a creature like that.”

  “There’s one over there,” I said, pointing towards the creature I had just described. It was green and huge – twice the size of me or Max – and it had a mean expression and looked like it was made for fighting, even though currently it was sitting on a tree stump looking bored. It was perfect!

  “Finally!” said Max. “Nice work, Flo.”

  “Actually, Flo…” Hungrabun started to say, but I rushed over to introduce myself.

  “Hi, I’m Flo,” I said to the green creature. “And that’s my friend Max over there. Has anyone ever told you you’d be perfect for fighting in the Battles?”

  The creature stared at me, a confused expression forming painfully slowly on its face. Finally it said, “Wot?”

  “Seriously, look at you,” I said. “Your size, your muscles, that terrifying face you’re making right now – you’d be amazing at it. My friend, the one hiding behind my other friend’s leg right now, for some reason … she’s called Hungrabun and she’s going to be in the Battles too. Oh, she might look like the kind of fluffy toy you’d get free with an Easter egg but trust me, she’s a warrior. I think you two could be a dream team. What do you say?”

  The giant beast scratched its head. “Wot?”

  “Um… Shall we start again? What’s your name?” I asked, wondering if I had jumped in too quickly.

  Then there came a voice that made my skin crawl. “His name’s Guggernaut.”

  A weedy-looking rodent stepped out from behind a tree. He had a body like a rat’s but longer, like a weasel’s. He did not look best pleased.

  “What’s going on here?” he demanded.

  “Hey, Pheasel,” said Guggernaut, proving he actually did know words other than ‘wot’. “This one wants me to join their team.”

  Pheasel looked like he was going to explode. “What? I nip to the little creatures’ room for one minute and someone tries to steal MY teammate.”

  I held up my hands. “Hey, sorry, I didn’t know he was already in a team.”

  “You haven’t heard of the legendary Pheasel and Guggernaut?” asked Pheasel, looking doubtful.

  “I have,” said Hungrabun as she and Max joined me. “Big fan, by the way.”

  I frowned at her. “You might have said something.”

  “I tried to,” she said. “But you ran off before I could.”

  “Let me enlighten you,” continued Pheasel. “We are the reigning, defending, undefeated Battle Champions. No one can beat us, and no one will ever break us up either. Especially not to join something that looks like it got stuck inside a tumble dryer.”

  “Hey!” said Hungrabun, running a paw through her fur defensively.

  “Guggernaut, why don’t you give them a demonstration of our powers,” said Pheasel, grinning a malicious grin.

  “Sure thing, boss,” said Guggernaut, standing up and cracking the knuckles on all four of his hands. Before we could react, he grabbed the three of us and started juggling us in the air.

  “Hey, put us down!” I yelled.

  “You heard her,” said Pheasel. “Put them down.”

  Guggernaut obliged, launching us into the air. We flew above the forest for several seconds before crashing back down into some bushes.

  “Well,” I said as we pulled ourselves out. “I did not care for those two.”

  Hungrabun let out a long sigh. “I guess it’s probably for the best that we can’t find anyone,” she said. “I mean, even if we did, we’d never be able to beat Guggernaut.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t say that…”

  The three of us turned our heads in different directions, trying to find the source of the voice. But there was no one there.

  “Who said that?” asked Max.

  “The creature that’s going to win the Battles for you,” came the reply from somewhere behind us. Or maybe it was in front of us, it was hard to tell.

  “Show yourself,” I said.

  “But I am,” the creature replied, even though it definitely wasn’t. “I am the master of hiding. All but invisible. They seek me here, they seek me there, but they never find me. I’m a ghost, I’m the wind, I’m the change down the back of the couch. I’m—”

  “There he is, behind that tree,” said Hungrabun, pointing towards an old oak.

  A fluorescent‑blue bird-like creature, not much bigger than Hungrabun, stepped into the clearing. “You spotted me,” it said. “Well done! I’m incredibly hard for most people to see, you know. Sometimes I go weeks without anyone noticing me.”

  “Are you sure they’re not just ignoring you?” asked Hungrabun.

  The creature considered this then shook its head. “Nope. It’s because I’m so good at hiding. My name’s Kiwi.”

  “I’m Flo, this is Max and that’s Hungrabun,” I replied.

  He held out a wing for us that Max and I shook but Hungrabun pretended she didn’t see, in a way that made it clear she did. Kiwi didn’t seem bothered though.

  “Nice to meet you all,” he said. “So, should we head into the city? We don’t want to be late for the tournament.”

  “Whoa there, mister,” said Hungrabun. “I haven’t agreed to team up with you yet.”

  Kiwi looked puzzled. “Didn’t you? I thought you did.”

  Hungrabun folded her arms. “Nope.”

  “Do you want to agree quickly, then we can go?” said Kiwi.

  Hungrabun’s jaw hit the floor. “What… I mean … you can’t be… Agree???”

  “Great,” said Kiwi, smiling. “Glad to be on board.”

  An exasperated Hungrabun held up a paw. “No!” she shouted. “I’m not agreeing! Why would I want you on my team? What can you even do? Besides get on my nerves?”

  Kiwi continued to smile, as if he hadn’t noticed Hungrabun’s hostility. “I told you,” he said. “Hiding.”

  Hungrabun looked at us, dumbfounded. “Hiding?” she said. “How is hiding going to help in a battle?”

  “If they can’t find you, they can’t hurt you,” said Ki
wi, tapping the side of his head as if he’d said something extremely clever.

  “Yeah, but you can’t hurt them either,” yelled Hungrabun in disbelief. “Not if you’re hiding.”

  “Er… Maybe Kiwi has other powers,” suggested Max, sounding hopeful.

  Kiwi shook his head. “No, just the hiding.”

  “Yes, well, thank you,” said Hungrabun. “I think we’ll pass.”

  “Actually, Kiwi,” I said, putting an arm round Hungrabun. “Could you give us a few minutes?”

  Kiwi nodded. “Sure. I’ll just practise my hiding.”

  As Kiwi hurried off into the bushes, Hungrabun buried her face in her paws. “Can you believe that guy?” she moaned.

  Max and I exchanged awkward glances.

  Hungrabun noticed. “What?” she asked. “You’re not actually thinking…”

  “He’s our only option,” I said.

  Max agreed. “If you want to be in the tournament, we’re going to have to go with him.”

  Hungrabun wasn’t convinced. “We could find someone else. We still have time.”

  “Besides Guggernaut and Pheasel, he’s the only person we’ve met,” I said.

  “And he hasn’t attacked us … yet,” added Max. “What about we have a little training session with Kiwi? See what he can do.”

  “Like … an audition?” asked Hungrabun.

  “Exactly,” said Max. “And if he’s no good, we’ll keep looking.”

  Hungrabun considered this. “Fine,” she said. “But it’ll be a waste of time.”

  “Great!” I said. I turned back towards where Kiwi had been, and no longer was. “Kiwi!”

  “Yes, Flo?” he said, appearing next to me.

  “Arrgh!” I cried, almost jumping out of my digital skin. “Don’t sneak up on people like that.”

  “Sorry,” he said. “It’s a habit from hiding all the time. So, I heard you want us to train against each other. I was eavesdropping. It’s another habit from hiding.”

  “That’s all right,” said Max. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”