Washed Up Read online

  FOR KATE, MY WONDERFUL MUM/MAM-IN-LAW – TN

  FOR CHRIS & EMMA – DO’C

  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Boyband: The Aftermath

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  About the Author

  About the Illustrator

  Have You Read?

  Copyright

  I was on a plane. Not that I could see anything. A blindfold was covering my eyes. But between the roar of the engine, the smell of stale air and the overwhelming desire for my ears to pop, a bit of cloth wrapped around my head wasn’t enough to disguise the fact I was airborne.

  But … how exactly?

  The last thing I remembered was walking home from the chip shop with some fish suppers for our tea. Mum and Dad are off touring with Aftermath – the band they manage – so my sister Lexi and I are staying with Gran for a few weeks. Not that I see much of Lexi these days. She’s always at training and… Actually, that’s not that important right now. What’s really important is that I’M ON A FREAKING AEROPLANE!

  I tried to think. I had this vague memory of a black van pulling up alongside me and then… Well, I couldn’t remember.

  I attempted to lift my hands to take off the blindfold, then realized they were strapped to the armrests.

  “Hello?” I said.

  “Sam? Is that you?”

  “Milo?” I cried, relieved to hear my best friend’s voice, even though it didn’t make the situation any less confusing. “What’s going on?”

  “No idea,” he said. “One minute I’m heading back from the toilet to join the guys for an interview in Dublin, the next I wake up blindfolded on a plane with you.”

  “And me.”

  “Lexi?” said Milo and I in unison.

  “Did… Did you say we’re on a plane?” asked my sister, her voice trembling a little.

  “That’s right,” said Milo.

  My sister is probably the bravest person I know. Except when it comes to planes. “Just breathe, Lexi,” I said, trying to sound reassuring. “We’re perfectly safe.”

  “And what part of us being abducted, blindfolded and stuck on a plane makes you think that exactly?” she asked.

  She had a point. Before I had time to think of a reply, I heard what sounded like a door opening.

  “Finally, they’re awake,” said a woman’s voice. “All right, get those blindfolds and straps off and let’s get started. We haven’t got much time.”

  I heard footsteps as someone walked towards us. The next moment, the straps around my wrists were undone and the blindfold was removed. I winced as light flooded my eyeballs. After about ten seconds of furious blinking I could see we were sitting in cream leather seats in what looked like a private jet. In the aisle stood a man and woman in black suits and dark glasses. The man was carrying a silver briefcase and was huge, a cross between a pro-wrestler and an even bigger pro-wrestler. Exactly the sort of person capable of grabbing someone off the street and bundling them into a van.

  Yet somehow it was the woman half his size who seemed the more intimidating of the two. Her skin was pale and her black hair was tied up in a bun so tight it threatened to snap her forehead.

  “Relax, everyone,” she said, with a thin smile. “No one’s going to hurt you.”

  “Who are you?” I said. “What do you want?”

  “My name is Special Agent Angela Banks,” she said, holding out an ID card stamped with the letters AIA. “And this is my partner, Gary Speed. We’re with the Apocalypse Intelligence Agency.”

  Milo let out a snort. “You mean the agency that doesn’t exist?”

  “Precisely,” said Agent Banks. “The AIA was set up immediately after the Hyde Park Incident. The government realized they had been caught napping. If it hadn’t been for the actions of a thirteen-year-old boy the entire planet would have been destroyed. A new top-secret division was created with two goals – to shield the world from the truth of what happened that day, and to prevent it from ever happening again.”

  “To shield the world from the truth…” I repeated, realizing what she had just said. “So I’m guessing it was you who covered the whole thing up? Who made me out to be a liar?”

  “Yes,” she said calmly. “Understand, Sam, that the public are not best equipped to deal with the knowledge that they stand on the brink of destruction at any moment.”

  “They seemed to handle it fine from what I saw,” I snapped.

  Agent Banks shot me a withering smile. “We’re very sorry you didn’t get your parade, Mr Miller, but sometimes tough decisions have to be made for the greater good. Which brings me to why you’re here. We have reason to believe that a plot is under way to bring back the Horsewomen.”

  For a few seconds, the sound of the aircraft seemed to die away. Milo, Lexi and I looked at each other, the same shocked expression on our faces.

  “But… But they’re gone,” said Lexi, the news appearing to make her forget that she was stuck in a tin hurtling through the sky, at least for the moment.

  “We fear not,” put in Agent Speed. “Ever since the events at Hyde Park, our agency has been closely monitoring all kinds of unusual phenomena. I take it you’ve heard of Fin Del Mundo.”

  “Who’s he?” I asked.

  “It’s not a who,” said Milo. “It’s a where. It’s that island that’s been all over the news.”

  “I’ve been trying to avoid the news,” I admitted. “After all those stories about me being a fraud and then Cruul getting off… I came off social media, I even got my hair put back the way it used to be. I just wanted things to return to normal.”

  Milo smiled awkwardly at this.

  “Oh, I don’t mean normal for you,” I said quickly. “I mean obviously you don’t want to go back to a normal boring life – you’re, like, a superstar now. Everybody loves you. I meant normal for me.” For some reason this didn’t seem to help with the awkwardness between us.

  “We’re a long way from normal,” said Agent Banks. She clicked her fingers and Agent Speed opened his briefcase. He took out two glossy A4 pictures and handed them to me.

  “These haven’t been released to the public,” Banks continued. “The top image was taken four months ago from one of our satellites.”

  The picture in question didn’t show an awful lot – just water.

  “Now look at the second picture,” she said. “The exact same location, three weeks later.”

  The second picture was of a jungle-covered island with a mountain in the middle.

  “You’re looking at Fin Del Mundo,” Agent Banks said. “The planet’s newest island.�
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  “I don’t understand,” I said. “How—”

  “The reason Fin Del Mundo hasn’t been discovered until now is because it wasn’t there,” she interrupted.

  “That’s pretty weird,” I admitted.

  “That’s not all,” she said. I’d thought it probably wasn’t. “Ever heard of the Bermuda Triangle?”

  “Sure,” said Milo. “Also known as the Devil’s Triangle. Lying in the North Atlantic Ocean between Florida, Puerto Rico and Bermuda, it’s famous for planes and boats mysteriously disappearing inside it.”

  Agent Banks nodded. “Exactly. Things tend to go missing there. They don’t usually get found. Especially not entire islands like this one.”

  “Actually, it’s been a while since anything went missing there,” noted Agent Speed, reaching into his briefcase and handing me another sheet of paper. On this one was a chart.

  “Why does it drop off after the year 2000?” I said.

  “2004, to be exact,” said Agent Speed. “There could be any number of reasons. Improvements in communications devices, better-designed vehicles. Even changes to flight plans and trading routes might be responsible.”

  I could tell from the looks the agents were exchanging that neither of them believed those theories. “What do you think really happened?” I asked.

  “There’s something particularly significant about that year,” said Agent Banks. “It was when you were born.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s your theory?” I said. “That baby me helped improve safety in the Bermuda Triangle?”

  “Not directly,” said Agent Banks. “But we do know that the Horsewomen took great interest in your birth. They monitored you closely, infiltrating your life early on at school as the Heatherstones. From that point on their focus was on you and their, admittedly justified, fears that you might be the one to thwart their plans to finally bring about the Apocalypse.”

  “OK, but what’s that got to do with the Bermuda Triangle?” said Lexi.

  “We’re not sure exactly,” admitted Agent Speed. “We might have assumed the timing was purely coincidental. But given the sudden appearance of the island and the fact that Nigel Cruul is on his way out there … well, we’re not so certain.”

  “You think Cruul’s up to something?” said Milo.

  Agent Banks nodded. “Oh, Cruul is always up to something,” she said. “Our concern is whether that something involves bringing back the Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse. He was the Horsewomen’s right-hand man. We can’t ignore the possibility that they may have left him instructions in the event of their demise. A Plan B so to speak.”

  “Hang on,” I said. “Cruul’s on his way to Fin Del Mundo?”

  “You didn’t know that?” said Lexi. “He’s taking part in that new reality TV show End Games with some other minor celebrities, doing daft challenges on a desert island.”

  “It’s been all over the news,” said Milo.

  I shrugged. “You know I don’t follow the news these days,” I said. Then something troubling occurred to me. “Wait a second … where do we fit into this?”

  Agent Banks grinned. “That reality show? We’re sending you three on it too.”

  I shook my head. “No. No. No. No. No. No,” I said, then in case I hadn’t made myself clear: “NO!”

  “But—” said Agent Banks.

  “No!” I repeated. “You can’t just go around abducting people and then expecting them to go on reality TV shows for you.”

  “We’re the government,” she replied. “I’ll think you’ll find we can.”

  Agent Speed shifted nervously. “Actually, boss, he’s right. We’re not really allowed to abduct people any more. We’re especially not meant to drug them and fly them out of the country.”

  Agent Banks screwed up her face. “No abductions? Seriously? Since when?”

  “Well, according to Simmonds in Analysis, we’ve never been allowed to abduct people,” he said matter-of-factly. “It’s just that we’ve seen it happen in the movies and think we can do it in real life.”

  “But it’s the best bit of the job,” she said, pouting slightly before remembering we were there. “Anyway, we’re talking about the greater good here. The fate of the world could be at stake. What’s a few abductions in the grand scheme of things?”

  I shook my head. Just the thought of being back in the public eye made me feel queasy. “Like I told you, I’m not going on a celebrity TV show,” I said. “I’m not a celebrity. Now get me out of here.”

  “But you’re perfect,” said Agent Banks. “You’re experienced in undercover missions. You know Cruul as well as anyone. We think your presence alone might be enough to put him on edge, to cause him to make mistakes.”

  “Can’t you just send some agents to the island?” I asked. “You know, people who are actually trained in this stuff?”

  Agent Banks shook her head. “We need someone who can get close to Cruul. That means we need someone on the show. And the show wants celebrities. We’d hardly be able to get a government agent on the show, would we?”

  That did seem a bit unlikely.

  “But I’m not even a proper celebrity,” I said.

  Agents Banks and Speed started laughing. “You haven’t watched much reality TV, have you?” said Speed.

  “Trust us,” said Banks, “compared to some you’re overqualified. The truth is, you’re exactly the kind of person who’d go on a show like this. Most of the contestants are washed-up stars hoping to make a comeback. No one would be surprised to see a former boyband member desperately trying to claw his way back into the limelight.”

  “And this is really just a reconnaissance mission,” said Agent Speed. “You three just need to find out Cruul’s plans for the Horsewomen, report back to us and we’ll handle the rest.”

  I knew enough about trying to save the world to know that things were never so simple. “What if I don’t,” I said. “And he manages to bring them back?”

  “Well, at least you’ll be nearby when it happens,” said Agent Banks.

  “Oh, great,” I groaned.

  Agent Banks smiled. “What I meant was, if it happens, you can just sing at them again, can’t you?”

  So basically I was a busker assassin. Then something else occurred to me and I felt my blood start to boil again.

  “If it weren’t for you guys lying about what happened at Hyde Park then none of this would be necessary,” I said. “Cruul would be in prison and you’d never have to worry about him bringing the Horsewomen back.”

  “On the contrary,” said Agent Banks. “If Cruul hadn’t gone free then we’d have zero leads on how to stop the Horsewomen. You think Cruul is the only Apocalyte out there? We seriously doubt that. There’s no telling how wide their network is. If it wasn’t Cruul doing the Horsewomen’s dirty work then it’d be someone else – maybe a movie star or a celebrity chef. It could be anyone who owes their success to them and wants to step up to prove their devotion. We’re lucky in that at least we know our enemy. We can’t do this without you, Sam.”

  I turned to Milo for backup, but could tell from his face I wasn’t going to get it. “What?” I asked him wearily.

  “I think we have to,” he said. “It’s like she says, we’re talking about the fate of the world. And we stopped them before, who better than us to stop them again?”

  “What about your tour?” I said.

  “It can wait,” he said. “This is more important.”

  I could feel the tide turning against me. “What about you, Lexi?”

  “Huh?” said Lexi. “Sorry, what were you guys saying?” Her face was white as she gripped the armrests with all her might. Clearly her focus was back on her fear of f lying.

  “They want to send us on a reality TV show to find out what Cruul’s up to,” I said. “What do you think?”

  “Will it get us off this plane?” she asked.

  “Well, yes, but what about your training and—”

 
“I’m in,” said Lexi.

  “Excellent. It’s all been arranged,” Banks said. “The producers were falling over themselves when we offered Milo. And Lexi was an easy sell too, what with that video of her beating up the Horsewomen going viral before we released the hoax story. And then there’s the dynamic of the three of you being on the same show as Nigel Cruul. No TV producer is going to pass up the chance for sparks to fly—”

  “So you’d already set this up,” I interrupted. “Before we even said yes?”

  Banks didn’t even blink. “We had to move fast. And we had faith that you would do what’s right. So yes, we got the ball rolling. We had your luggage packed and agents have been in contact with your parents and gran to explain the situation. We even had your hair done.”

  I ran a hand through my hair. “Ow!”

  Banks pulled out a hand mirror from her pocket and held it up. My head looked like someone had stuck a blond porcupine to it. It was the same haircut I had sported during my time in Apocalips.

  “H-how?” I stammered. “W-why?”

  “We had it done en-route to the plane,” she explained. “When you were asleep. How else are people going to recognize you if you don’t have your boyband haircut?”

  I gave a long sigh.

  “OK,” said Agent Banks, looking at her watch. “I’m going to go check with the pilot, see how we’re doing. Agent Speed will run you through your initiation.”

  As she headed back up to the cockpit, Agent Speed did a little cough to clear his throat. “Right. AIA protocol states that all persons engaging in undercover operations on behalf of the agency will be subject to intensive and exhaustive training beforehand. This will help prepare them for any issues they may encounter in the field to maximize chances of a successful operation. Normally this could take anywhere from six months to a year but we’re going to have to cut that down a bit.”

  “How long have we got?” asked Milo.

  Agent Speed checked his watch. “About ten minutes.”

  “Ten minutes?” I repeated, regretting my decision. “What exactly are we going to learn in ten minutes?”